It can be difficult
for seniors to ask and accept help with basic tasks that they previously had no
trouble doing on their own. Many do not even realize that they need help, because
of either denial, cognitive decline, or the gradual nature of aging. For these
reasons, the responsibility for talking about assisted living often falls on
their children. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important that
you approach the discussion with compassion and tact.
Raising the subject is
often as difficult as it is important, and represents a major life transition
that can unleash difficult emotions. When having this talk, it is important to
be compassionate and prepared so that you and your parents can both be
comfortable with the decision. To help you avoid any frustrating
misunderstandings -- particularly when it comes to seniors and senior care, David
Berkowitz from the Chicago Nursing Home Aperion Care, shares some of his thoughts,
which may help.
Make future plans a topic of ongoing
discussion
Start talking early.
It could take some time and several conversations to convince your parents to
consider getting help, so you don't want to wait for a disaster to strike
before you bring it up. It will also give you more time to adjust to your loved
one's idea to start conversations about assisted living before it is necessary.
Address the subject during a private
moment
Your parents may initially react with feelings
of shame, which is more likely to create a conversation that turns defensive and
dismissive. Bring up the topic of assisted living during a private, informal
time between you, your parents, and perhaps one or two other close relatives.
Present housing options with positive language and tone
If your
parents are afraid of assisted living because of a fear of losing their freedom
and independence, explain that there are assisted living options for all levels
of care, including many that will allow you to retain a good deal of their privacy. Assure them
that you will help them find a program or arrangement that is right for them.
For example, at the David Berkowitz Chicago Nursing Home, there are various levels of support with the
activities of daily living, each type of assistance determined after an
assessment with a wellness coordinator, working in agreement with the senior
and extended family.
Include them in the decision making
process
Ask your parents how they feel about the
problems and listen to their concerns. They will be more receptive to your
suggestions if you find that they understand and sympathize with your feelings
on the subject. You can also ask questions that could help them come to the
right conclusion on their own.
Be compassionate and respectful
Try to
understand how difficult this decision and transition can be for your parents.
Make sure you talk to them as you would any other adult. Don't be forceful or
condescending.
Do your research and find a suitable
facility
Finding the right
facility that can meet their current and future health care needs, will ensure
the elder’s life doesn’t have to be disrupted multiple times as their condition
changes. If you need help find a
suitable place, contact nursing home owner David Berkowitz to assist
you with the assessment of the needs, arranging the tours and the evaluation of
your parent needs.
